My blog, my say.

MOVED!

2009-09-03T11:52:00.001+08:00

I'VE MOVED!

Ask me for the link if you want to :)

All the recent events.

2009-09-02T14:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, was a history to remember.

And tomorrow is a mystery to discover.

Today is a brand new episode to live.

Let's see what today will uncover.

30.08.09

It was the first time I break fast with my complete 5 family members this fasting month.

And yes, it was great to be able to see every single one of them around.

Take a look at the picture below!

Egg-look-alike donut! Pretty cool stuff! :)

It was nice :D

-
31.08.09

I went back to my secondary school.

Met Ushaa and Shaveena! :)

Wooo...! It's awesome! :D

It have been ages since I last contacted them.

And they were complaining 'Jamy! Why you went M.I.A!? blah blah blah...'

Collected my O level certificate and testimonial. FINALLY! :)

01.09.09

Break fast outside with him :)

02.09.09

HAVE TO START REVISION NOW!

There's internal paper tomorrow, Friday and Monday!

Everything is falling in place :)

The 10th, the 1st.

2009-08-26T22:56:00.001+08:00

Different as it seems.

Because everyone changes.

Deny all you want.

But you'll never see the same old images.

School have been happening like crazy!

Especially during Cecilia's F&B class :)

Been passing 'love letters' in class.

And we always get caught but we just won't stop. Hehe!

I have been thinking when I should collect my O level certificate.

And also my YEARBOOK!

The yearbook just came in this month.

So so looooong! I have waited since last year!

Ahhh... So lazy to revise revise revise....

August is ending, September is coming.

PAAAAAAAAANIC!!

This is what I do everyday after school.
Everytime she sees me, she'll go...

'Nyak watch Peninna.. Nyak ong Peninna...'

Which means she wants me to watch Thumbelina with her.

She'll do so every single day and make me watch it with her at least twice a day!

Imagine the torture of watching the same old show over and over again.

So much so that you know what the characters will say before they actually do!

HAHAHA!

She's one of my sources of happiness :)

The 10th, the 1st :)

First Time

2009-08-21T23:47:00.004+08:00

People may say they're so over it.

But they will always carry their past along.

Be it intentionally or unintentionally.

For it is because of their past they're strong.

Yesterday was my first time ever to eat alone outside.

HAHAHA! :)

Did some past year papers.

And it drove me nuts!

I'll let it run on its own.

I am not going to be the engine.

Not going to work 24/7 to keep it running.

No more, not anymore.

Chickens in the backyard! :)

It started with 5 but now I'm left with 3.

It's so hard to look away.

When the daylight never stay.

First Internal Paper

2009-08-18T13:29:00.003+08:00

The examination started at 9.

I left the class at 10.30.

Didn't do the paper properly.

It's just an internal examination afterall.

The marks will not matter.

It's the external examination that matters.

Right after the paper, I had breakfast with T.

Then we headed to the ARCADE!

Been so long since I last had a girlfriend event :)

We acted like little kids but who cares :D

We had fun!

Now I'm at my grandmum's place.

I am having a movie marathon!

WOOHOO!

I'm watching Thumbelina right now.

HAHA! It isn't that bad after all.

On the list:

Hannah Montana the Movie

Saus Kacang

Make It Happen

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Syurga Cinta

And if I'm not tired I'll watch more :)

I simply need this break from them.

I'm weird because I hate goodbyes.

I got misty eyes as they said 'farewell'.

Exam Period

2009-08-16T19:40:00.006+08:00

Life is a gamble.

It's about making choices.

No matter which path you take,

You have to face the consequences.

I didn't know talking to her about it could be such a relieve! :)

Today I learn to drink coffee.

Today I learn more about boys.

Today I learn to be more laid back.

Today I learn more about her life story.

EXAMINATION PERIOD!

To all students who are sitting for examination soon,

ALL THE BEST! :)

Another true story.

Once upon a time...

There was a girl who faced heartbreaks endlessly. She kept falling in and out of love. Boys, they kept coming in and going out of her life. They all meddled with her feelings. She finally set a mindset saying 'boys, they are all the same no matter how much they say they are different than other guys'. When she was broken hearted, she was left to cry alone in her room. She cried almost every other night for a few years. She did not have anyone to turn to. She couldn't express her thoughts to anyone because her friends, they come and go too. She even fights with her family. She was pretty much rebellious, going against rules. She slowly came into a state of depression. She punched the wall when she's frustrated. She cuts her wrist when she's hurt. She built a blockade between the society and herself. She thought life would never be fair and everyone would end up leaving her behind anyway. She did not dare to start establishing a beautiful friendship with anyone because she knew she would end up getting hurt if she get too close to anyone. She thought 'the closer I get to a person, the more I'd be hurt in the end'. Simply said, she was a pessimist. After what she went through, she found it hard to be an optimist. One day, she got tired of crying. She got tired of thinking too much. Slowly, she came into a sane state of mind. She realised that it was stupid of her to act the way she did. Her mind started working in proper condition as she aged. She started to evolve into a sociable girl who is happy-go-lucky. She's no longer a depressed little girl. She found her way out of the depressing life. She found true friends whom she know would stay by her side no matter how busy their lives could be.

Why did I share this story?

Because I want you to know that happiness lies in your hands.

Yes, you might have been hurt and think life is unfair.

But fairness lies within you.

You can change the way you see life.

She's been hurt, she thought life was unfair but she pulled it through.

After all, there's always a light in the end of the dark tunnel.

Treasure your friends because they are precious.

You might not text message them everyday,

you may not chat with them every now and then,

you might not even see each other

but you should know that true friends would never forget about you.

They might lead a busy life but they would always contact you whenever possible.

But at the end of the day, your perspective towards life is the one that matters most.

Because you are the one with the greatest power.

You can make a huge difference to your own life.

Don't depend on people for happiness, find it.

Find your source of happiness today and keep it close to your heart.

And when you manage to hold it tight, all your sorrows will wash away.

Learn to give yourself a second chance.

Give yourself the chance to explore the wonders of life.

You can start by appreciating everyone around you for their presence.

Because everyone around you have contributed something to your life.

Be it good or bad, intentionally or unintentionally.

I know, why appreciate the bad?

Because without the bad experience, you would not feel the greatness of the good.

Think about it.

2009-08-14T21:50:00.003+08:00

No matter how far you run.

No matter how fast you disappear.

You know you can't hide.

From the haunting fear.

She broke a promise she made to herself.

Here's a true short story.

Once upon a time in Amy's life...

A boy stepped in and created a special moment for her. Not knowing he's evolving into a stalker. They were both 13 when they met. They were just normal classmates. Their friendship wasn't a tight one. They started to grow closer at the age of 16. Closer than normal classmates should be. One fine day, the boy confessed to Amy about his true feelings. Knowing the fact that Amy has a boyfriend, he insisted to stand by her. No doubt, the boy have always been by Amy's side. Even though the boy is sincere about his love towards Amy, he never did asked Amy to leave her boyfriend. He respected every single decision Amy made. Amy was impressed as he's one of a kind. However, Amy treated him as a friend and nothing more. Slowly, as days go by, the boy started to treat Amy as if she's his girlfriend. He did not expect anything in return from Amy as his love was sincere. Sadly, at the age of 17, he evolved into a dangerous stalker. He would not leave Amy alone. He wants to know about Amy's every whereabouts. He threatened Amy with death. He would do anything to get Amy's attention. He even got into a fight because Amy was harassed. All he wanted to do was to protect Amy. As days go by, Amy could not take it any longer. She had O levels to sit for and a lot of problems to settle. Soon, she was refered to a councillor. There, she found peace to speak her mind out. The councillor did try to help Amy in any way possible but he was too stubborn to let Amy go. So Amy decided to let it all go. Amy found it hard to let go of a friendship. However, she had to for safety reasons. She did not contact him for months. She blocked his calls and did not reply to his messages. At the age of 18, they parted. In August 2009, Amy received a message from him. Saying,'Can I meet you for the last time before the 1st of September?' Amy still hasn't replied to his text message. She's afraid that he might be up to no good. But what if he's sincere and needs to meet for an important reason? Should Amy meet the boy after almost 1 year?

Job hunting on the internet.

Driving me nuts!

Got to start revising now!

2009-08-13T16:23:00.004+08:00

Rain or shine, I'll be there for you.

I promise not to let you down.

Even if there's a thunderstorm.

You know I'll always be around.

Because true friends stay no matter what comes around.

So now almost everybody in school starts talking about him.

Even the lecturer, believe it or not.

And they want super juicy detailed facts.

What's so interesting about him anyway?

HAHA!

S is getting on our nerves, trust me!

Acting like she's a goody good girl.

Acting as if she's the best student ever in class.

Saying she's completed her part of the group assignments long ago.

Gone through all the past year papers months ago.

And other sort of unreliable front she put up.

The actual fact is she NEVER did anything for group assignments.

If she did, it means just one or two slides.

In which totally have NO LINK to the assignment question.

And when asked about a past year paper question, she's lost.

And yet, she still gets credit from the lecturer for other's effort.

Sickening!

I intended to do revision today but there's no motivation to do so.

So I shall do revision over the weekend.

Complete revision for Food Hygiene, Health & Safety by Sunday!

I've got so much more to go through.

Examination application approved.

Sitting for four papaers in September.

I hope I can clear it all and get a job!

Anyway, it's so hard to get a job these days.

Furthermore, I have no experience which makes it even tougher.

I have decided, if I don't get a job by the end of this year,

then goodbye Singapore.

I have no other choice left.

Quote of the day: Return her her shoe back! :)

2009-08-12T14:25:00.002+08:00

I will be sitting for Food Hygiene, Health & Safety

internal examination paper this coming Tuesday!

Talk about so little time, so much to do...

No MSN, no Facebook till at least 4.30pm.

I have to start revising!

AHHHH!

2009-08-10T13:14:00.003+08:00

I shouldn't have got myself into this.

How should I break through it?

Went out with family on Saturday.

There was a fun fair going on.

I went for a roller coaster ride after a long time.

And it was scarier than I thought it will be!

It was dark inside and there were hanging human-like figures!

This time I am not going to let history repeat itself as far as possible.

I will safeguard it and ensure it doesn't go through unbareable pain.

I shall not let it beat the way it used to.

Because once broken, it's going to be tough to mend.

I don't want to go through the same complex situation again and again.

Ahh!

I have to start job hunting real soon!

School is coming to an end.

Will be going out with family again at 3pm! :)

Quote of the day: You're all grown up now.

Waking Up In Love

2009-08-08T12:02:00.002+08:00

Tell me loud and clear.

Because I need to know.

What's happening here?

I didn't know you would turn so cold.

So why are you acting so cold?

You know what?

That's not what friends do.

You can continue doubting me.

My conscience is clear.

I think right now is the sick season.

So many people falling sick.

Asthma is back with the bad weather.

This is really bad.

Oh yes, Man! GET WELL SOON! :)

Fasting month is coming real soon!

Are you ready? :)

WOOHOOO!

2009-08-05T20:07:00.002+08:00

Woohoo!

June papers result out today!

Cleared all 5 papers! :)

Woah.. I have been sick these few days.

So so annoying...

2009-07-29T12:41:00.005+08:00

In the attempt of finding something true.

I have decided to give it another try.

Hoping for a little difference, I turn to you.

Hopefully, it won't be a repeated history.

Yes, choices do have consequences.

And I know right now I am facing it all.

I know one by one, they are leaving.

But if they are true, they are here to stay.

I've faced it all before and it will just continue.

At the beginning, they make it all seem so sweet.

However, as time goes by, it turns sour.

Maybe I am fated to face life this way.

Maybe I just don't deserve having them.

The presentation that is due tomorrow is still incomplete!

DEAD MEAT!

It's funny how people from my past are making a come back.

One by one they start making a special appearance.

What do they want now?

Last Sunday, 10.25 pm - 10.40 pm.

We stood fascinated by the moon on our way back home.

It's just those days where the moon looks different.

It was pretty cool, hard to describe the whole thing.

I love every moment spent with them :)

As annoying as they can get, at the end of the day, they'll still stand by my side.

We joked as usual, talk about our grades and future.

We eat out often these days and that made our bond stronger.

The only time we would see all 5 is on Friday to Sunday.

That is also for certain parts of the day.

Therefore, I look forward to dining out again with them.

And the moral of the story is I love my family :)

2009-07-22T11:51:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's about time I give it another try.

But I can't risk all the wonderful stuff for this.

I don't know what I should do now.

Yeah, choices have consequences.

I don't have the guts to make any choice.

2009-07-20T23:38:00.003+08:00

There's just too much going on today.

I just want to put a stop to everything.

Why is history starting to repeat itself?

How I wish I could just put it all aside.

I am sorry my dearest friends.

It's not that I choose to ignore you.

Or I choose to move on from you.

I am just too occupied these days.

I have so much issues to settle.

Everything is going haywire for me right now.

I just hope everything will be settled real soon.

I hope you guys can understand my situation.

Once again, I am really sorry.

Have you ever felt like running to a far away place?

Not letting anyone know of your whereabouts.

Just cry your heart out and be alone...

Without letting those who care worry...

Without causing any trouble for anyone.

That's what I want...

2009-07-19T11:05:00.004+08:00

Sunrise, sunrise.

It marks the start of something new.

Sunrise, sunrise.

I no longer want to feel blue.

It's been a VERY BUSY week for me.

And I will be much more busier from now on.

Examination period is nearing....!

So I attended the Job Enhancement skills workshop on Saturday.

I stayed awake throughout the 8 hours long workshop!

We did a personality test and it turned out to be totally true!

HOW SCARY!

A few pictures that was snapped:

As much as she wants to leave,

she simply knows she can't.

As much as she wants to run away,

She knows she will continue to stay.

Quote of the day: Thanks for your support :)

2009-07-14T17:29:00.004+08:00

As soon as this game is over,

I am going to make a move.

Because its yucky to feel sober.

I am going to leave for good.

Went out for a while with Mya and Iqa today :)

Here are some pictures:

How can one kill a feeling so strong?

The more one tries to let it go, the more it hurts.

The further one runs away, the more one would be haunted.

All I want is to stop caring too much.

Because all it does is hurt.

I am a real life walking punching bag now.

Grrr! HAHA!

Quote of the day: The next thing she'll say is she owns the White House.

2009-07-13T13:52:00.005+08:00

As dark as the sky can get,

As heavy as the rain can pour,

Always remember that the sun will shine.

Just give it a few minutes, hours or more.

It's just a matter of time that your life will be embraced with the 'sunshine'.

There will be a workshop this Saturday.

From 10am to 6pm!

Hopefully I won't fall asleep!

Ahhh! Thankfully, after so long!

Daddy managed to so called fix it :)

It is totally pointless laying hopes on you.

Anyway, there's always her when there's no me.

What if you knew what I was thinking,

would it make you like 'WOW!'?

I don't want to risk, putting my foot in this.

So I keep my mouth closed.

Got to button my lips so the truth don't slip.

Shall start studying for the examination from next week onwards.

Oh yes, CONGRATULATIONS Kamal!

Quote of the day: No pink today? :)

2009-07-08T13:07:00.009+08:00

I fell once, I fell twice.

I feel pretty silly now.

I hated once, I hated twice.

Maybe I should run away now.

I got tired of waiting.

I got tired of chasing.

I got tired of trying.

Seriously, I give up.

THANK YOU MY FRIENDS! :)

Thank you for being there for me.

Through good and bad times.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! :)

I treasure everyone of you.

And, I don't want to lose any of you.

You are all as lovely as a cupcake can be :D

I can't get two song out of my mind.

Those two songs describe my love story journey :)

Songs for the broken hearted.

The songs can make you feel much better :)

Heidi Montag - No more.

Ashley Tisdale - It's alright, it's okay.

Wooohoooo! GREAT SONGS! :)

I shall wait no longer.

BBS

2009-07-07T17:28:00.008+08:00

SCHOOL!

Photos taken at school from January to July:

Poetry

2009-07-05T02:35:00.012+08:00

The clock never stopped ticking.

Day and night, as time goes by,

I just can't stop thinking.

All I need is a simple lullaby.

Running through this complex mind,

I found myself wanting to be around you.

I keep wondering if you are meant to be mine.

Because I can't stop thinking of you, it's true.

I am not creating my own series of fiction.

I am not creating a fairytale I can call my own.

All I want is your purely honest attention.

Sometimes it does feel like you're my clone.

...

It's true what I've learnt from a wise friend.

A guy is always sweet when he is trying to win your heart.

He'll do anything to make you smile.

He'll do anything to please you.

He'll be as sweet as a cupcake can be.

But when he's yours, it will be a whole new cycle.

He'll turn into a cupcake without an icing.

And slowly turn into a cupcake that has turned bad.

And sometimes, so bad that it may contain salmonella.

And then it could make you totally sick.

I was pretty much in pink today.

As I stepped into the class, the lecturer went...

'You like pink?' and I was like 'YAH!' :)

When I reach my grandmum's place,

the baby looked at me and said....

'PINK KAKAK!' HAHA! My oh my..

Examination period will start in about one month's time!

RUN, TAKE COVER...!

The Junction

2009-07-03T20:17:00.005+08:00

Life is like a complicated road.

Now, I'm in the middle of the junction,

Which way should I go, right or left.

So tell me now, which is the right direction.

A: I wan to take risk. .i onli wil giv up if u gt sum1 else

Me: How sure are you of what you are doing?

A: Im sure bc0z u the onli one who st0le my heart. .bc0z i l0ve u so much. .bc0z u the onli one who cn make me cry. .u the onli one whom i hav waited for 7 suffering months even after countless times crying and been rejected.

Me: You know i can't love anymore right...

A: haiz. .if u dun l0ve me its okay. .i stil hav h0pe but im ready to b hurt again. . Its okay. .its me hu decide to l0ve and wait 4 u. .u alrdy gave up ur l0ve. .

...

So now I'm the bad one.

I don't want to hurt or be hurt.

I forgot how to love, I'm sorry.

I can't get back with you right now.

I am still hurt by the past.

You lied, you cheated and much more.

So tell me how can I give you a second chance?

The Princess :)

Sunshine

2009-07-02T17:45:00.005+08:00

As far as I could remember

You used to be the ultimate special one.

As far as where I've left it all, I realise

You're no longer the one that I want.

I feel so sleepy and weak yet I want to stay awake.

I don't know exactly why I want to stay awake.

How weird.

As everyone know, every guy is so into Megan Fox.

Surprisingly, Rain turned her down.

He is totally different and hard to find :)

But who knows he might want her too in the future?

Let's wait and see if he can prove me wrong.

Prove to me that not all guys are the same.

This was written by him, I quoted it:

'seriousli it hurts wen u say u dun love me even when i love u whole heartedly.yes i know i made a stupid move by leaving u. im sorry. i have realised that i really love u. but now after u said that u dun love me at all, u dun miss me as ur boifren, it hurts. it hurts!im crying every now and then juz wen i rmbred u. i feel sad wen i open my wallet. firstly , u boought that for me, secondly, our pic is still inside that wallet. evryday i look at it. i nvr take it out even once.its been nearly 7 months since the break up. i 've been hurting myself since then.i cn chose to move on but i still want to be with you.yes, u may not be the perfect girl that i've been looking for but no matter what i still love u. i just dun know how to show it to u. i have ever tried to avoid u but i cnt. i 'll die if i do. i just love u so much. i dun wan the 3 years to be a waste.y are u keep doing this to me?? y? i know im hurt due to my own fault but y cnt u just give me a chance?? u are killing me! i have faith in us gettng together. now its up to u. u cn chose to be with me or not. yes im mad, im sad im in pain, but still i dun care. i wan to be with you.! i know u have move on. new life, new friends. cnt u consider turning back for the sake of our lost love? i still hope u will be mine! now i know how tiring to cry every nite thinking of the past. if u wan me dead tell me , i will kill myself. but please dun do ths to me.'

Am I being totally heartless?

Am I bad now?

What am I to do?

I'm stuck.

Annoying

2009-06-30T19:37:00.002+08:00

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Cupcake is sweet.

Just like you.

I AM SO HAPPY!

Mummy bought me a simple black backpack! :)

Which I can bring to school! :D

Finally, a suitable backpack that can be brought to school.

RMJ :)

Plus, K.

Harder than it seems

2009-06-29T09:02:00.004+08:00

There's something different about you that I can't seem to spot.

You're the first and last thing that cross my mind everyday.

As obvious as your flaws may be, I can put it aside easily.

I can't seem to shake you off my mind no matter what they say.

Is it just me or guys really look good in this type of shirt? :)

I did not attend school today.

Was totally unwell at first but I'm much better now.

I have so much to revise.

Examinations coming soon!

However, the motivation is gone...

What's a girl like me to do?

2009-06-26T16:53:00.004+08:00

Am I suppose to put my life on hold

just because you don't know what to do?

Am I suppose to cry every single night

just because you choose to be untrue?

Accompanied my friend to collect IC after school on Friday.

There was three of us.

It was a total torture!

I was forced to take a longer journey back home.

I had no choice because my shoe bag was held captive!

I shouldn't be taking things too seriously.

Because I would end up losing everything.

This game seems much more complicated now.

So tell me now, am I doing the right thing?

Sometimes you just keep me wondering why.

Why do I think about you every day and night?

Why do I fall for you over and over again?

Why does it seem so hard for me to feel right?

A Date With Sister

2009-06-19T20:31:00.009+08:00

For all the years I've known you,

I've realised you're a changed person now.

It's just too late to make a difference.

Because the time to move on is now.

So I have decided to go on a date instead of going out with my secondary school friends.

I am glad because I know I made the right choice.

The right choice of going out on a date with my one and only sister! :)

One word to describe the whole outing.

The very word is 'ENJOYABLE'!

We had a super great time

Location: IMM & Jurong Library :)

Had lunch at Long John Silver after a very long time!

Finally, I get to enjoy the LJS cheese again.

I was smiling away eating the cheese because it is totally nice!

And my sister went "Kakak, you just lick the cheese up sudah."

And I was like "Huh?! For what?!"

She went "Because you're a cheese freak!"

*Pushed the container of her cheese to me*

I was so so so so HAPPY! :P

Bought her a pair of ear rings and a hair clip.

Bought myself an ear ring.

Walk, walk, walk.

Went to the library to read up some books.

Find fault with small mats.

Many more.. :)

Here comes the pictures!

Came across a song that I can really relate to.

Something that I am really facing and feel.

Here's the lyrics:

You tried, boy

You tried to blame it on me

At first it worked I was feeling so guilty

You said, you said I was the reason why

We couldn't work out

But that was all a lie

You never gave me

What I gave you boy

But it's your loss

'Cause you made the choice

To walk out

But you want me back around

I wish that I never loved you

Never loved you

Chorus:

I should have never let you have my heart

You made me not want to feel again

Made me scared to open up, but

Now I'm better off

No more bad days

Don't need you to validate me

No More (I don't need you)

You made me

Made me think we had something real

But then you tried to use the way I feel

Against me Make me a yes girl You tried to do

Had to free myself

'Cause I can't let you

Get the best of me

No more misery Had to free myself

'Cause you're not the one for me

And I bet you wish you had my love again

I bet you wish you never made that decision

'Cause now you want me back

I bet you want me back

But when I cry myself to sleep

Tell me, where are you?

Chorus:

I should have never let you have my heart

You made me not want to feel again

Made me scared to open up, but

Now I'm better off

No more bad days

Don't need you to validate me

Bridge:

I did everything you asked me to

But nothing was good enough

And baby, we're through

You act so arrogant

You act like you're heaven sent

And I'm not gonna let you get the best of me

I'll find someone who loves me for me
-

Is that what people call a crush?

Is that what people call dating?

Is that what people call TTM?

Sheesh...

'this few days i have been spending most of my time outside. i just want to try to 4get all the pain u put me through.but it seems i can't . u are always in my mind. i don't know why.is it bcoz i love u soo much? but how did i love you even when u don't love me?why i didn't want to forget u? why am i still waiting for u? even the chances of getting hurt again is high. maybe bcoz i believe that i will still be with you.somehow i feel u still love me but u doesn't want to admit it.maybe i still have hope. but why don't u want to be with me again?can't u see that u are the onli one i love..3 years of sweet memories can never fade.maybe i just miss you so much but im sure that i really love u and onli u.one more thing, u promise to meet me this week. and today is thursday.u noe i can't meet u on friday. are u realli busy? well, now i understand broken promises hurt. im sorry for al my broken promises to u. i just dun wan to lose u.i really hope to be with u again. for now, wat can i do? just hope and cry.'

' is it realli the end?u realli don't love me anymore?u realli regard me as onli a friend?realli i dun stand a chance to get u back?or maybe u got somebody new? Plz be honest with me.plz answer all question truthfully. answer me here. even wen u really dun love me anymore, plz meet me once again tell it straight to my face. i onli believe it when u tell it in front of me. PLZ, i want to meet you. if this week can't next week then. i want u to tell me honestli when i meet u. '

This was written by A.

I guess karma is happening.

If you really loved me, you wouldn't have let me go.

Left me crying all alone for weeks.

Leaving me in misery.

Why don't you just let it go?!

2009-06-17T13:16:00.004+08:00

A brand new start, a band new life.

I have chosen to walk this road.

It's alright to stumble and fall.

Just go on even when they gloat.

I don't care about what you have got to say.

I only believe in what I see not what is said.

Afterall, actions do speak louder than words.

I am totally not interested with empty promises.

Definitely, I want to see that you mean what you say.

I just want a total sincere decent sweetheart.

It seems so hard to find one.

I was young and in love.

I gave you everything but it wasn't enough.

And now you want to communicate.

You know you're just a little too late.

I gave you more than enough chances.

I always did but you always misuse it.

You don't deserve another chance now.

Unless you can prove to me that you've changed.

*091208* is still up on your MSN nick.

You're just a little too late now.

Time has made me move on.

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?

You said you're just going with the flow.

So does that mean you don't have any expectation?

Will be meeting my secondary school friends on Friday.

I envy seeing how their love life is progressing.

One of them asked 'Jamy, you still with ______(my ex boyfriend) right?'

I was speechless, I did not know what to say.

So finally, for the first time,

I broke the news to a secondary school friend.

I did not want people to know about the break up initially.

But I guess there's no reason to lie about that.

So finally, I broke the news, I told her it ended.

She went 'Why? When? How come?'

I did not know what to answer.

So I just said 'It's complicated. I don't know. Ask him.'

I hope none will question me about him on Friday.

Making sushi later! :)

Family Day / BBQ

2009-06-15T14:32:00.007+08:00

Don't ever hesitate to acquire more knowledge.

Knowledge is power, it is utmost essential.

Don't just learn from books or movies.

Learn from failure as it teaches something real special.
-

I am thankful and lucky to have great friends around me.

I appreciate every single one of you.

You might only be there for me virtually and not physically, in person.

But I appreciate every single attempt you take to make my day wonderful.

Sometimes the virtual world is friendlier than reality.

Thank you all of you who have made my life much more worthwhile.

Barbeque / family day at my place from Saturday to Sunday.

With daddy's side of the family.

It was totally happening!

Everyone slept over on Saturday night.

Did not take any photo on Saturday as I was too busy.

What a waste!

Saturday:

Had barbeque from late afternoon till late night.

Watched 'Jangan Tegur' late at night.

It was not entirely scary.

The sound effect is the main factor which makes it scary.

Due to the fact that there are many unexpected shocking scenes, it was scary!

Sunday:

Finish up my finance homework! :)

Continue the barbeque session early in the morning.

Games were played in the afternoon.

Balloons were poped, IQ was tested and more.

It was fun and loud!

Here are some photos taken :)

My brother and cousins.

Soccer as usual.

Before the others arrive.

13151817. The pretty one on the extreme right :)

Sunday/lollipop day.

Look into the mirror session.

The 'teacher' explaining how the game is played.

He's the one in white.

Always creating new games for the family to enjoy:)

Photographer number two.

Enjoying! :)
The knowledge about the family test and also the IQ test.

The family test:

There were questions like...

'Tarikh nikah Paman'

'Nenek dulu tinggal di pulau mana?'

It can be found in the paper in the picture below.

IQ test:

A question was given to draw a star with blah blah blah.

So as you can see, there are lots of stars.

The groups busy discussing their answers.

The 'teacher' showing the updated score of respective groups.

The balloon boy!

The game can get very dangerous.

Tripping!

The fun ended :(
Just a sneak preview :)

Foolish.

2009-06-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

I feel foolish, silly, stupid, idiotic, moronic!

Why did I care about you so much?

I have fallen into a stupid deep trap.

I was worried sick about you, seriously.

You went missing the whole day!

Which is so not you, so I got worried.

I tried contacting you in every possible way.

Finally at about 9pm I decided to call your handphone.

I didn't call your handphone earlier because you said your prepaid was low.

However, I decided to call because I was really worried.

When you picked up, I know you were outside.

I asked where were you and you said Sentosa.

Right at that moment, I felt like killing you!

I waited for you to come online since 8 am till now...

How much more foolish can I get now?

I didn't expect this coming at all.

It's been a long time since I last shed tears.

I broke down knowing the fact that I am totally foolish.

I got worried for someone who actually doesn't care.

The other night I thought that you were different.

But I thought wrong, you're just equally foolish.

I shouldn't have cared about you this much.

I never did intended to care about you so much.

I don't know why this is happening to me...

I cared too much without realising.

I hate this feeling...

I totally hate this!

Valuable.

2009-06-10T14:45:00.004+08:00

I've passed a lot of obstacle.

As hard as it gets, I continue to hold on.

No giving up, no letting others lead.

It's my life and I will continue moving on.

I've realise something very valuable today.

Despite having people come and go in life,

there's a handful who are willing to stay.

I know those who stay might go one day too.

However, I cherish the time I spent with them.

I am thankful that they put in an effort to stay.

I am thankful that I still have people to turn to.

I appreciate that they are part of my everyday life.

I appreciate all the littlest things they do for me.

I am grateful that there's people who actually care.

I am blessed with a handful of wonderful people.

I should really stop worrying and start appreciating.

Sure there is a lot of pain going on in this world.

But when I just stop and reflect about what's going on,

I realise that life is just as beautiful as love song can be.

As sweet as a reunion with your long lost love can be.

Simply said, life isn't as bad as what we pictured it to be.

I promise not to fall in love easily because love is blind.

When you take time to realise your love for someone,

you are actually removing that blindness away.

You will see clearly and will realise something magical.

Something you never ever dreamt of having in your life.

Love isn't a simple fairytale story that you've ever came across.

Or a simple crush developing into something more than that.

Love is something much more deeper that a naked eye can see.

Yes, love requires a lot of patience which relates to time.

The quest of finding love is indeed a time-consuming journey.

However it is essential because with time we can realise a lot.

With time we can realise if we are actually in love or not.

With time we can realise whether he/she is the right one.

With time we can realise whether he/she is sincere.

With time we can realise his/her really true character.

However, many will lose out when it comes to patience.

Do take note that patience is essential when it comes to love.

Without patience you will take longer to find true love.

So, have patience. Don't rush when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Where on earth are you?

❤ Love Is In The Air.

2009-06-06T17:16:00.007+08:00

Love is in the air, yes indeed it's true.
No, not the lovey dovey can't sleep, can't eat, over the moon thing.
It is a love for my buddies.
It is really a great thing!

Just for me :)

Aww aww..! So touched!

Friday was GREAT! :)

I realise that A and I can NEVER stop fighting.

There's always something we're unhappy about.

I guess it's really clear that we cannot get along.

Oh yes, they're just equally foolish.

Been spending a lot of time at Orchard during the examination period.

It was great hanging out with my schoolmates!

It was a great way to release stress!

We laughed all the way from Far East to Plaza Singapura!

We walked all the way, under the hot sun...

Great way to burn off a little bit of my cholesterol :)

Hopefully, I pass all the papers I took! :D

I do want to have my own family.

Have my own children so that mummy will be happy.

Have a hubby to turn to so my life wouldn't be full of misery.

However, it's hard to find someone to start a family with.

It's hard to find that 'dream hubby' material, trust me on this.

I want to accomplish great things in life.
Be it with or without a life partner.
Life isn't all about guys afterall.
Why destroy your hopes and dream because of a stupid guy?
It's not worth it, never did worth it.

The Seventh.

2009-06-01T07:49:00.007+08:00

The memories of pain still linger.

1001 times they ask me to move on.

I tried, still trying, still wanting to try.

But somehow I find myself still holding on.

So A made a come-back, like AGAIN.

Somehow A seems sincere.

As usual, everything turned out rough.

A realised that he did not have the qualities that I want in a boyfriend.

So A said 'I give up. I tak nak try to get you back lagi'.

So A's a quitter, not the kind I am looking for.

So A keep putting the blame on me.

However I said 'This whole thing started because someone left'.

By someone it means A and A knows that very well.

I mean come on, let me give a scenario.

....

You as a human love this someone a lot.

You sacrifise for that someone a lot.

You depend on that someone because you believed that he/she will always be there.

You don't need anybody else, just him/her.

You bared with all his/her nonsense just to keep the relationship because you treasure it.

You literally cannot live without that person.

Basically that someone is your EVERYTHING.

And then suddenly that someone made his/her way to the exit.

Telling you he/she is going to leave you behind.

Without telling you any reason why.

He/she would put his/her friends before you even after 3 long years.

And on the fateful night when he/she left...

He/she was out with his/her friend.

He/she left you crying alone, with noone to turn to.

You lock yourself up in the room.

You called, no answer.

You texted, no reply.

It went on for not just hours or days.

It went on for weeks.

You were left clueless and confused.

You cry and cry, you starve yourself, you hurt yourself.

You felt like the whole world is tumbling down on you.

Then one day you realise that all the sufferings you go through will not make any difference.

He/she will not return to you because he/she simply doesn't care.

So that was the dayyou decided to move on.

You decided to never fall in love.

You decided to never be in a relationship.

You decided to never believe in love.

And that was the day your perception towards things around you change.

You are a whole new person.

You don't take things too seriously anymore because you're afraid to get hurt again.

Just as you are happily cruising the new life of yours....

He/she came back.

He/she claims that he/she realised his/her mistake.

Take note that he/she always say so in the past but continue making the same mistake.

After facing all the impossibilities alone, here he/she is right before your eyes.

He/she keep pestering you saying that he/she want you to be his/hers again.

It isn't as simple as it seems.

I am sure you will hesitate to be back together with him/her.

Due to all the lies and sufferings he/she have put you through.

How can you say 'Yes, I want you back' simply just like that after what you went through?

I went through much more complication that what it written here.

All I'm saying is, there is a reason behind everything that happened.

And do believe in karma because it happening all around you.

TOMORROW MARKS THE START OF THE EXTERNAL EXAMINATION!

Location: RELC International Hotel

Examination period: 2nd to 5th June

2nd June: Facilities & Accommodation Paper

3rd June: Front Office Operations & Tourism Industry Paper

4th June: Business Operations Paper

5th June: Marketing Paper

My fringe is growing so so so so sooo fast!

I feel like cutting it again!

I Don't Want To Do This Any Longer.

2009-05-27T00:54:00.003+08:00

I can't get myself to fall asleep.

Neither can I keep myself awake.

The thought of them kills me.

I wonder how much more I can take.

It's gonna be 5 am soon and I am still awake.

I miss having someone to talk to this late.

Oh my.. This is what I really hate....

Had a study group after school.

Managed to cover only a few questions.

There's no class for me today!

So I must start my serious revision.

So today I shall cover Front Office & Facilities & Accommodation.

C is giving me a HUGE headache!

Why oh why.. Why me?

C said he's serious and wants to marry me!

HAHAHA! OH MY!

Typical foolish immature boy.

He barely knows me!

And R, you upset me A LOT!

I think the song 'kantoi' is really good!

In the sense of lyrics :)

I can't stop playing the song!

Can I Dump Them In The Bin?

2009-05-25T16:59:00.002+08:00

They come and go without warnings.

They keep me waiting for miracles to happen.

And whenever I wait, my hopes will be crushed.

Now I have to protect myself with a secret weapon.

I'm glad that I prayed yesterday after oooh-sooo-long! :)

F&B operations class is FULL of FRENCH terms!

Such a HUGE headache!

Exams next week!

I must start SERIOUS revision from tomorrow onwards!

Study group tomorrow! :D

Went to coffee shop after school just now.

With a few classmates and 2 other schoolmates.

One of the 2 is a matrep!

Who has eye problem!

He loves to stare! SHEESH!

And he thought I'm a Phillipino all these while.. -.-"

SILLY MATREP!

And the other one is one of his girls.

Very arrogant! CIS!

I don't see why I should care when you don't.

I can't take it anymore.

I can't stand being a spare tyre for this long.

Yeah, I should quit fretting over R and A.

YES! I should..

I'll take things slow..

Take them as a friend and nothing more.

You claimed that I'm something more than a friend.

Someone you miss all the time.

But well, it seems to be an irony.

What you do and what you say are two completely different things.

I believe what I see not what I hear from you.

And now tell me...

Tell me what makes you different than all the guys from my past?

No difference am I right?

Yeah.. I am so right...

You were so proud to tell me that you are different.

SHEESH!

The Choice Is Mine

2009-05-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

Let them have a splendid time.

Because I know everyone deserve a good life.

So what's the point fretting?

Let's move on and continue to strive!

I know I was only 14.

But i thought i loved him and I'd last forever.

But only if i knew that he wasn't true.

How could he do this to me.

Yesterday there was a BIG issue.

It wasn't my fault at all!

It is the officer's fault!

If only I knew who was the officer who got me into deep trouble..

I would have killed him!

HAHAHA!

Thank you lady officer for resolving the problem! :)

I was so afraid that I might be locked up!

PHEW!! :D

I have decided not to be too close to R and A.

Why? Because I've got no other choice.

A seems to be moving on well.

R seems to get closer to the girl from his past.

Let them live happily ever after :)

Work In Progress

2009-05-15T23:07:00.002+08:00

I was wide awake at 3 in the morning.

The thought of you can't seem to fade.

It seems to be a very disturbing fact.

But somehow it seems like I have found my mate.

So today marks the start of the new module.

F&B operations is quite a killer with all the french term!

Class was super boring because we are not allowed to talk.

We were all freezing cold at 27 degrees Celsius.

It seems like the air conditioner was not functioning properly.

Oh yes, this lecturer is TOO STRICT.

And I have to see her four times a week!

Lucky me, every Wednesday is my off-school day! :)

Less than two weeks to external exams!

AHHHHHHH!

Revision in progress...

I'm glad that I have friends like S and M.

I owe them a lot alright! :D

Because they are my happy buddies! :)

Why are they interfering with my personal life?

Why should they bother about who am I going out with?

Why should they report to him on my every move?

It's not like he's my boyfriend.

Yes, it keeps me wondering why I still cling on to A.

Why oh why?

Now I shall take one small step at a time.

No rushing.

Twinkle twinkle litte star.

2009-05-12T15:27:00.004+08:00

Twinkle twinkle little star,

Why do my dreams seem so far.

Up above the world so high,

Won't somebody tell me why.

I had tourism paper today.

And man, trust me it was a SERIAL KILLER!

But I still think yesterday's paper which is marketing is the worse ever!

Now I don't know what to expect for the external exams.

Please be do-able! PLEASE!

I am going to have three days off school!

YIPPY! :)

There'll be a leadership skills workshop on Saturday!

My new module will commence on Monday.

And I still haven't printed out my notes!!

AHHHHHHHH!

I hope the second module will be much better than the first one.

The PRINCESS who never fail to make me smile :)

The Moon, the one that I want.

2009-05-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

I try to convince myself every now and then

that you are just like one of them.

But somehow you make an exception.

No matter what you do, you still get my attention.

I have no complete idea why R have been on my mind.

I have been thinking about R.

Much more than what I thought was possible.

This is not love, definitely a NO NO.

This is totally impossible at this point of time.

I think I know what this is, it's a strong liking I have towards R.

Right now, I am in a super deep confusion.

We both meet up once a week.

I like the idea of meeting up with R.

He never fail to make my day.

But I am afraid that by meeting up, I am giving R the wrong signal.

Ahhh! DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!

Internal exams have started!

Business Operations paper on Monday was TOUGH!

The moment I read the first question, I was stunned!

I have no idea how others can leave way before the time is up.

The time limit given was till 11.30.

Almost the whole class left before 10.45!

Today's Front Office paper was do-able to my surprise! :)

I was smiling to myself throughout the whole paper.

Tomorrow will be Facilities & Accommodation paper.

I know it will be a KILLER!

HELP ME! HELP ME!

So now it's like 2 papers down, 3 to go! :)

External papers in JUNE!

It's coming real soon!

Our exam venue will be in a hotel at Orchard!

COOL OR WHAT?! :D

I am aiming for a distinction for at least two papers.

But a pass for all papers will do! :)

As long as I get that hotel management certificate,

I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY!

And then... I shall LEAVE this country for GOOD!

So please, can I have at least a pass for every paper? :D

Boyfriend.

I miss talking to my boyfriend about school.

I miss talking to my boyfriend for long hours.

I miss having my boyfriend all to myself.

I miss going to school with my boyfriend.

I miss messing up my boyfriend's hair.

I miss punching my boyfriend's arm.

I miss writing poems for my boyfriend.

I miss singing with my boyfriend.

I miss leaving my boyfriend long text messages.

I miss having a miss call from my boyfriend.

I miss laughing with my boyfriend.

I miss being missed by my boyfriend.

I miss being loved by my boyfriend.

I miss shopping with my boyfriend.

I miss having lunch with my boyfriend.

I miss going to gym with my boyfriend.

Simply said, I miss all the comfort I can get from my boyfriend.

But I don't think I can handle boyfriends any time soon.

Somehow, it seems impossible to find THE ONE.

It's like all the boys are stars.

Shining and attractive in their very own way.

But all similar in one way or another.

And THE ONE is like the moon.

Attractive and stand out from the others.

Different in a good way.

I know... it won't come easy.

Breaking The Rules

2009-04-30T17:22:00.001+08:00

It's not that I want to, I just can't.

I don't know what got into me.

You seem to be the one that I want.

But I just can't let you open the door to my heart.

So I ran against theschool's policy.

Had a 'talk' with the super toot GM.

With the presence of the receptionist aka his girlfriend.

I can't seem to see the need of her being there.

It was suppose to be a 'talk' between me and the GM.

NOT with the presence of his girlfriend!

Right there and then I felt so frustrated.

He sure have issues with his ways.

I guess he haven't learn of something called 'PRIVACY'!

Yeah, tears ran down my cheeks thanks to the couple.

His girlfriend tried to calm me down.

She put her hand over my shoulder.

I don't know what got into me that moment

I simply pushed her hand away.

His words were hurting me.

He totally looked down on me.

Freaking bastard!

Many people heard what was said to me.

I cursed and swore right after I left the room.

Thankfully I and F was there to calm me down.

Luckily daddy did not get angry upon receiving the call.

So the internal examintaion starts next week.

I hope I can do well.

So on Monday having Business Operations paper.

Have to really STUDY!!

Okay now, this particular topic have been bugging me.

The particular topic that I am refering to is.....

MARRIAGE!

HELP! DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!

Every family member of mine is like pressurising me about this issue.

Mummy got married at the age of 23.

And so I calculated, it's in freaking 5 years time I turn 23!

Who am I going to be married to?!

AHHHH!

On the 28th of April, right after school, I was in dooms land!

I know they wanted to sabotage me!

A whole group of them looked fishy.

Suddenly A started chasing me!

So I know, RED ALERT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE HUDA!

So I ran as fast as I could!

I swore I did after so long! :)

Suddenly POOF! Somebody got hold of me from my back!

I know right there and then I AM SO DEAD!

That somebody lifted me up from the ground!

The way a mummy would carry a baby!

OMG! I WAS SO EMBARRASSED!

I turned to find that K was carrying me.

K promised he would not get involved!

I swear I punch, kick and pinch K non-stop.

People were looking!

I screamed like I wanted to lose my voice at that moment.

But it was to no avail.

E pulled my bag and watch off me.

K then dropped me in front of the fountain!

Then Z took over!

OH MAN!

I was pushed to the fountain.

Both K and A got themselves into deep shiat.

HAHA!

They were asking for it...

It seems like I was violent but who cares?

They started it didn't they? :D

Not my fault.

It was self-defence! :)

The next day, they came with bruises.

Oooops! I felt sorry for them but serve them right! :)

Oh yes, take a look at the picture up there.

Can you spot something on the bottom right hand corner?

That's from R! :)

Boys, boys, boys.

2009-04-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

I am sorry R.

I am sorry A.

I never intended to hurt anyone.

I don't want to lie about my feelings just to make the both of you happy.

Because I know at the end of the day, I will be a bad ass liar.

There is no point lying as the truth will be revealed one day.

It is only fair that the both of you know about the truth now rather than later.

Now K is being totally freaky.

I hope things would stay as it is between us.

Nothing more.

Well, my class have been confused about the never-ending-shifting exam dates.

Finally, the GM stepped into our classroom yesterday.

He made things clear with us, distributing the final exam date schedule.

There was a bad news yesterday.

My class will be shifted to the afternoon slot for the next module.

All because of Mr. Tony Compton!

Luckily today the GM came to our class again to inform that we will stick to the current time table!

Yippy Yayyy! :D

This Saturday there will be a time management skill course in school.

After that I will be meeting R :)

I sure hope the time management skill could help me out.

I find that it is totally essential.

4 presentations done.

1 more to go! :)

Yes maaaaan!

Seventeen again tomorrow!

Yippy yayyyy!

Can't wait to see Zac!

Whahaha! :)

Just another common act.

2009-04-02T17:12:00.000+08:00

Everytime I get this feeling,

I wonder if you feel it too.

Every night before I enter lala land,

I wish upon the stars thinking of you.

Met up with R last Tuesday.

This coming Wednesday too! :)

Great news! No class tomorrow!

I got to start revising!

First paper falls on the 27th of this month.

I hope everything turns out well.

The words that came out from K's mouth set me thinking.

Was he serious or was it just a pure joke?

Now, now... I am so frustrated!

Sunshine

2009-04-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

Tell me is this for real.

Or is this just another fantasy.

The beating keeps getting faster.

Are you my ecstasy?

After all the series of events that happened,

I've figured out that life has a pretty fair deal.

No doubt, life is a rocky adventure full of obstacles.

All that matters is how you handle it all.

And that is where most fail.

Obviously, I am one of them.

Though I don't wish to be so,

I find it inevitable to be one of them.

I appreciate the fact that N has entered my life.

I hope our friendship will turn out well.

R have been the greatest friend so far.

And I appreciate it too :)

A is fading away.

Due to the fact that A is an uprising 'hawtstff'.

May A lead a happy life :D

I've made a couple of decisions.

I hope I've made the right choices.

History will replay.

2009-03-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

Somehow, someway,

We will be hurt.

Somehow, one day,

We will get what we ever wanted.

So far, life's good.

Most things are on the right track.

Just that as usual, boys, they come and go.

OMG! Exams are on the way!

Assignments and revisions to be done by APRIL!

So little time, so much to do!

I've completed a planner and I hope it helps!

Y It won't come any sooner.

Over with despondency.

2009-01-16T12:55:00.001+08:00

Life is never easy.
Nobody said it will be.
The journey will turn out fuzzy.
Never perfect, just the way you wanted it to be.

17th of January 2009 marks the start of something new!
Hopefully everything turns out fine. :D
I am glad that I have changed, a good change that is.
I am no longer dependent on my ex boyfriend.
Call me independent woman. Cehhh! :)
I find myself weird.
I used to fall head over heels over guys simply.
Now, I don't and I can't anymore.
It's like a sudden change.
Maybe cause I am not as stupid as I was before?
HAHA! I sure hope so.
I am just over high school love stories.
Those days where I always get cheated, ill treated.
I want a real life partner.
Someone who can really be there 24/7.
Someone who can tell what's on my mind without even breathing a word.
Someone who I can call 'MY HUBBY' in the near future. :D