If only you're just as sweet as a cupcake..

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 ; 7:37 PM

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Cupcake is sweet.

Just like you.

I AM SO HAPPY!

Mummy bought me a simple black backpack! :)

Which I can bring to school! :D

Finally, a suitable backpack that can be brought to school.

RMJ :)

Plus, K.

Monday, June 29, 2009 ; 9:02 AM

There's something different about you that I can't seem to spot.

You're the first and last thing that cross my mind everyday.

As obvious as your flaws may be, I can put it aside easily.

I can't seem to shake you off my mind no matter what they say.

Is it just me or guys really look good in this type of shirt? :)

I did not attend school today.

Was totally unwell at first but I'm much better now.

I have so much to revise.

Examinations coming soon!

However, the motivation is gone...

What's a girl like me to do?

Friday, June 26, 2009 ; 4:53 PM

Am I suppose to put my life on hold

just because you don't know what to do?

Am I suppose to cry every single night

just because you choose to be untrue?

Accompanied my friend to collect IC after school on Friday.

There was three of us.

It was a total torture!

I was forced to take a longer journey back home.

I had no choice because my shoe bag was held captive!

I shouldn't be taking things too seriously.

Because I would end up losing everything.

This game seems much more complicated now.

So tell me now, am I doing the right thing?

Sometimes you just keep me wondering why.

Why do I think about you every day and night?

Why do I fall for you over and over again?

Why does it seem so hard for me to feel right?

Friday, June 19, 2009 ; 8:31 PM

For all the years I've known you,

I've realised you're a changed person now.

It's just too late to make a difference.

Because the time to move on is now.

So I have decided to go on a date instead of going out with my secondary school friends.

I am glad because I know I made the right choice.

The right choice of going out on a date with my one and only sister! :)

One word to describe the whole outing.

The very word is 'ENJOYABLE'!

We had a super great time

Location: IMM & Jurong Library :)

Had lunch at Long John Silver after a very long time!

Finally, I get to enjoy the LJS cheese again.

I was smiling away eating the cheese because it is totally nice!

And my sister went "Kakak, you just lick the cheese up sudah."

And I was like "Huh?! For what?!"

She went "Because you're a cheese freak!"

*Pushed the container of her cheese to me*

I was so so so so HAPPY! :P

Bought her a pair of ear rings and a hair clip.

Bought myself an ear ring.

Walk, walk, walk.

Went to the library to read up some books.

Find fault with small mats.

Many more.. :)

Here comes the pictures!

Came across a song that I can really relate to.

Something that I am really facing and feel.

Here's the lyrics:

You tried, boy

You tried to blame it on me

At first it worked I was feeling so guilty

You said, you said I was the reason why

We couldn't work out

But that was all a lie

You never gave me

What I gave you boy

But it's your loss

'Cause you made the choice

To walk out

But you want me back around

I wish that I never loved you

Never loved you

Chorus:

I should have never let you have my heart

You made me not want to feel again

Made me scared to open up, but

Now I'm better off

No more bad days

Don't need you to validate me

No More (I don't need you)

You made me

Made me think we had something real

But then you tried to use the way I feel

Against me Make me a yes girl You tried to do

Had to free myself

'Cause I can't let you

Get the best of me

No more misery Had to free myself

'Cause you're not the one for me

And I bet you wish you had my love again

I bet you wish you never made that decision

'Cause now you want me back

I bet you want me back

But when I cry myself to sleep

Tell me, where are you?

Chorus:

I should have never let you have my heart

You made me not want to feel again

Made me scared to open up, but

Now I'm better off

No more bad days

Don't need you to validate me

Bridge:

I did everything you asked me to

But nothing was good enough

And baby, we're through

You act so arrogant

You act like you're heaven sent

And I'm not gonna let you get the best of me

I'll find someone who loves me for me
-

Is that what people call a crush?

Is that what people call dating?

Is that what people call TTM?

Sheesh...

'this few days i have been spending most of my time outside. i just want to try to 4get all the pain u put me through.but it seems i can't . u are always in my mind. i don't know why.is it bcoz i love u soo much? but how did i love you even when u don't love me?why i didn't want to forget u? why am i still waiting for u? even the chances of getting hurt again is high. maybe bcoz i believe that i will still be with you.somehow i feel u still love me but u doesn't want to admit it.maybe i still have hope. but why don't u want to be with me again?can't u see that u are the onli one i love..3 years of sweet memories can never fade.maybe i just miss you so much but im sure that i really love u and onli u.one more thing, u promise to meet me this week. and today is thursday.u noe i can't meet u on friday. are u realli busy? well, now i understand broken promises hurt. im sorry for al my broken promises to u. i just dun wan to lose u.i really hope to be with u again. for now, wat can i do? just hope and cry.'

' is it realli the end?u realli don't love me anymore?u realli regard me as onli a friend?realli i dun stand a chance to get u back?or maybe u got somebody new? Plz be honest with me.plz answer all question truthfully. answer me here. even wen u really dun love me anymore, plz meet me once again tell it straight to my face. i onli believe it when u tell it in front of me. PLZ, i want to meet you. if this week can't next week then. i want u to tell me honestli when i meet u. '

This was written by A.

I guess karma is happening.

If you really loved me, you wouldn't have let me go.

Left me crying all alone for weeks.

Leaving me in misery.

Why don't you just let it go?!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 ; 1:16 PM

A brand new start, a band new life.

I have chosen to walk this road.

It's alright to stumble and fall.

Just go on even when they gloat.

I don't care about what you have got to say.

I only believe in what I see not what is said.

Afterall, actions do speak louder than words.

I am totally not interested with empty promises.

Definitely, I want to see that you mean what you say.

I just want a total sincere decent sweetheart.

It seems so hard to find one.

I was young and in love.

I gave you everything but it wasn't enough.

And now you want to communicate.

You know you're just a little too late.

I gave you more than enough chances.

I always did but you always misuse it.

You don't deserve another chance now.

Unless you can prove to me that you've changed.

*091208* is still up on your MSN nick.

You're just a little too late now.

Time has made me move on.

Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?

You said you're just going with the flow.

So does that mean you don't have any expectation?

Will be meeting my secondary school friends on Friday.

I envy seeing how their love life is progressing.

One of them asked 'Jamy, you still with ______(my ex boyfriend) right?'

I was speechless, I did not know what to say.

So finally, for the first time,

I broke the news to a secondary school friend.

I did not want people to know about the break up initially.

But I guess there's no reason to lie about that.

So finally, I broke the news, I told her it ended.

She went 'Why? When? How come?'

I did not know what to answer.

So I just said 'It's complicated. I don't know. Ask him.'

I hope none will question me about him on Friday.

Making sushi later! :)

Monday, June 15, 2009 ; 2:32 PM

Don't ever hesitate to acquire more knowledge.

Knowledge is power, it is utmost essential.

Don't just learn from books or movies.

Learn from failure as it teaches something real special.
-

I am thankful and lucky to have great friends around me.

I appreciate every single one of you.

You might only be there for me virtually and not physically, in person.

But I appreciate every single attempt you take to make my day wonderful.

Sometimes the virtual world is friendlier than reality.

Thank you all of you who have made my life much more worthwhile.

Barbeque / family day at my place from Saturday to Sunday.

With daddy's side of the family.

It was totally happening!

Everyone slept over on Saturday night.

Did not take any photo on Saturday as I was too busy.

What a waste!

Saturday:

Had barbeque from late afternoon till late night.

Watched 'Jangan Tegur' late at night.

It was not entirely scary.

The sound effect is the main factor which makes it scary.

Due to the fact that there are many unexpected shocking scenes, it was scary!

Sunday:

Finish up my finance homework! :)

Continue the barbeque session early in the morning.

Games were played in the afternoon.

Balloons were poped, IQ was tested and more.

It was fun and loud!

Here are some photos taken :)

My brother and cousins.

Soccer as usual.

Before the others arrive.

13151817. The pretty one on the extreme right :)

Sunday/lollipop day.

Look into the mirror session.

The 'teacher' explaining how the game is played.

He's the one in white.

Always creating new games for the family to enjoy:)

Photographer number two.

Enjoying! :)

The knowledge about the family test and also the IQ test.

The family test:

There were questions like...

'Tarikh nikah Paman'

'Nenek dulu tinggal di pulau mana?'

It can be found in the paper in the picture below.

IQ test:

A question was given to draw a star with blah blah blah.

So as you can see, there are lots of stars.

The groups busy discussing their answers.

The 'teacher' showing the updated score of respective groups.

The balloon boy!

The game can get very dangerous.

Tripping!

The fun ended :(

Just a sneak preview :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 ; 9:09 PM

I feel foolish, silly, stupid, idiotic, moronic!

Why did I care about you so much?

I have fallen into a stupid deep trap.

I was worried sick about you, seriously.

You went missing the whole day!

Which is so not you, so I got worried.

I tried contacting you in every possible way.

Finally at about 9pm I decided to call your handphone.

I didn't call your handphone earlier because you said your prepaid was low.

However, I decided to call because I was really worried.

When you picked up, I know you were outside.

I asked where were you and you said Sentosa.

Right at that moment, I felt like killing you!

I waited for you to come online since 8 am till now...

How much more foolish can I get now?

I didn't expect this coming at all.

It's been a long time since I last shed tears.

I broke down knowing the fact that I am totally foolish.

I got worried for someone who actually doesn't care.

The other night I thought that you were different.

But I thought wrong, you're just equally foolish.

I shouldn't have cared about you this much.

I never did intended to care about you so much.

I don't know why this is happening to me...

I cared too much without realising.

I hate this feeling...

I totally hate this!

; 2:45 PM

I've passed a lot of obstacle.

As hard as it gets, I continue to hold on.

No giving up, no letting others lead.

It's my life and I will continue moving on.

I've realise something very valuable today.

Despite having people come and go in life,

there's a handful who are willing to stay.

I know those who stay might go one day too.

However, I cherish the time I spent with them.

I am thankful that they put in an effort to stay.

I am thankful that I still have people to turn to.

I appreciate that they are part of my everyday life.

I appreciate all the littlest things they do for me.

I am grateful that there's people who actually care.

I am blessed with a handful of wonderful people.

I should really stop worrying and start appreciating.

Sure there is a lot of pain going on in this world.

But when I just stop and reflect about what's going on,

I realise that life is just as beautiful as love song can be.

As sweet as a reunion with your long lost love can be.

Simply said, life isn't as bad as what we pictured it to be.

I promise not to fall in love easily because love is blind.

When you take time to realise your love for someone,

you are actually removing that blindness away.

You will see clearly and will realise something magical.

Something you never ever dreamt of having in your life.

Love isn't a simple fairytale story that you've ever came across.

Or a simple crush developing into something more than that.

Love is something much more deeper that a naked eye can see.

Yes, love requires a lot of patience which relates to time.

The quest of finding love is indeed a time-consuming journey.

However it is essential because with time we can realise a lot.

With time we can realise if we are actually in love or not.

With time we can realise whether he/she is the right one.

With time we can realise whether he/she is sincere.

With time we can realise his/her really true character.

However, many will lose out when it comes to patience.

Do take note that patience is essential when it comes to love.

Without patience you will take longer to find true love.

So, have patience. Don't rush when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Where on earth are you?

Saturday, June 6, 2009 ; 5:16 PM

Love is in the air, yes indeed it's true.
No, not the lovey dovey can't sleep, can't eat, over the moon thing.
It is a love for my buddies.
It is really a great thing!

Just for me :)

Aww aww..! So touched!

Friday was GREAT! :)

I realise that A and I can NEVER stop fighting.

There's always something we're unhappy about.

I guess it's really clear that we cannot get along.

Oh yes, they're just equally foolish.

Been spending a lot of time at Orchard during the examination period.

It was great hanging out with my schoolmates!

It was a great way to release stress!

We laughed all the way from Far East to Plaza Singapura!

We walked all the way, under the hot sun...

Great way to burn off a little bit of my cholesterol :)

Hopefully, I pass all the papers I took! :D

I do want to have my own family.

Have my own children so that mummy will be happy.

Have a hubby to turn to so my life wouldn't be full of misery.

However, it's hard to find someone to start a family with.

It's hard to find that 'dream hubby' material, trust me on this.

I want to accomplish great things in life.
Be it with or without a life partner.
Life isn't all about guys afterall.
Why destroy your hopes and dream because of a stupid guy?
It's not worth it, never did worth it.

Monday, June 1, 2009 ; 7:49 AM

The memories of pain still linger.

1001 times they ask me to move on.

I tried, still trying, still wanting to try.

But somehow I find myself still holding on.

So A made a come-back, like AGAIN.

Somehow A seems sincere.

As usual, everything turned out rough.

A realised that he did not have the qualities that I want in a boyfriend.

So A said 'I give up. I tak nak try to get you back lagi'.

So A's a quitter, not the kind I am looking for.

So A keep putting the blame on me.

However I said 'This whole thing started because someone left'.

By someone it means A and A knows that very well.

I mean come on, let me give a scenario.

....

You as a human love this someone a lot.

You sacrifise for that someone a lot.

You depend on that someone because you believed that he/she will always be there.

You don't need anybody else, just him/her.

You bared with all his/her nonsense just to keep the relationship because you treasure it.

You literally cannot live without that person.

Basically that someone is your EVERYTHING.

And then suddenly that someone made his/her way to the exit.

Telling you he/she is going to leave you behind.

Without telling you any reason why.

He/she would put his/her friends before you even after 3 long years.

And on the fateful night when he/she left...

He/she was out with his/her friend.

He/she left you crying alone, with noone to turn to.

You lock yourself up in the room.

You called, no answer.

You texted, no reply.

It went on for not just hours or days.

It went on for weeks.

You were left clueless and confused.

You cry and cry, you starve yourself, you hurt yourself.

You felt like the whole world is tumbling down on you.

Then one day you realise that all the sufferings you go through will not make any difference.

He/she will not return to you because he/she simply doesn't care.

So that was the dayyou decided to move on.

You decided to never fall in love.

You decided to never be in a relationship.

You decided to never believe in love.

And that was the day your perception towards things around you change.

You are a whole new person.

You don't take things too seriously anymore because you're afraid to get hurt again.

Just as you are happily cruising the new life of yours....

He/she came back.

He/she claims that he/she realised his/her mistake.

Take note that he/she always say so in the past but continue making the same mistake.

After facing all the impossibilities alone, here he/she is right before your eyes.

He/she keep pestering you saying that he/she want you to be his/hers again.

It isn't as simple as it seems.

I am sure you will hesitate to be back together with him/her.

Due to all the lies and sufferings he/she have put you through.

How can you say 'Yes, I want you back' simply just like that after what you went through?

I went through much more complication that what it written here.

All I'm saying is, there is a reason behind everything that happened.

And do believe in karma because it happening all around you.

TOMORROW MARKS THE START OF THE EXTERNAL EXAMINATION!

Location: RELC International Hotel

Examination period: 2nd to 5th June

2nd June: Facilities & Accommodation Paper

3rd June: Front Office Operations & Tourism Industry Paper

4th June: Business Operations Paper

5th June: Marketing Paper

My fringe is growing so so so so sooo fast!

I feel like cutting it again!