Monday, June 1, 2009 ; 7:49 AM
The memories of pain still linger. 1001 times they ask me to move on.
I tried, still trying, still wanting to try.
But somehow I find myself still holding on.
-
So A made a come-back, like AGAIN.
Somehow A seems sincere.
As usual, everything turned out rough.
A realised that he did not have the qualities that I want in a boyfriend.
So A said 'I give up. I tak nak try to get you back lagi'.
So A's a quitter, not the kind I am looking for.
So A keep putting the blame on me.
However I said 'This whole thing started because someone left'.
By someone it means A and A knows that very well.
I mean come on, let me give a scenario.
....
You as a human love this someone a lot.
You sacrifise for that someone a lot.
You depend on that someone because you believed that he/she will always be there.
You don't need anybody else, just him/her.
You bared with all his/her nonsense just to keep the relationship because you treasure it.
You literally cannot live without that person.
Basically that someone is your EVERYTHING.
And then suddenly that someone made his/her way to the exit.
Telling you he/she is going to leave you behind.
Without telling you any reason why.
He/she would put his/her friends before you even after 3 long years.
And on the fateful night when he/she left...
He/she was out with his/her friend.
He/she left you crying alone, with noone to turn to.
You lock yourself up in the room.
You called, no answer.
You texted, no reply.
It went on for not just hours or days.
It went on for weeks.
You were left clueless and confused.
You cry and cry, you starve yourself, you hurt yourself.
You felt like the whole world is tumbling down on you.
Then one day you realise that all the sufferings you go through will not make any difference.
He/she will not return to you because he/she simply doesn't care.
So that was the dayyou decided to move on.
You decided to never fall in love.
You decided to never be in a relationship.
You decided to never believe in love.
And that was the day your perception towards things around you change.
You are a whole new person.
You don't take things too seriously anymore because you're afraid to get hurt again.
Just as you are happily cruising the new life of yours....
He/she came back.
He/she claims that he/she realised his/her mistake.
Take note that he/she always say so in the past but continue making the same mistake.
After facing all the impossibilities alone, here he/she is right before your eyes.
He/she keep pestering you saying that he/she want you to be his/hers again.
It isn't as simple as it seems.
I am sure you will hesitate to be back together with him/her.
Due to all the lies and sufferings he/she have put you through.
How can you say 'Yes, I want you back' simply just like that after what you went through?
I went through much more complication that what it written here.
All I'm saying is, there is a reason behind everything that happened.
And do believe in karma because it happening all around you.
-
TOMORROW MARKS THE START OF THE EXTERNAL EXAMINATION!
Location: RELC International Hotel
Examination period: 2nd to 5th June
2nd June: Facilities & Accommodation Paper
3rd June: Front Office Operations & Tourism Industry Paper
4th June: Business Operations Paper
5th June: Marketing Paper
-
My fringe is growing so so so so sooo fast!
I feel like cutting it again!
The memories of pain still linger. 